How Obese is Obese Enough to Take a Child from Their Home?
Last week I was asked to be an expert for a HLN story involving an 8-year-old boy in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio. This boy is morbidly obese, tipping the scales at 218 pounds. The Department of Children and Family Services took the boy into foster care after they felt the mother was unable to follow through with appropriate measures prescribed for the boy in order to lose weight. The mother’s defense was that she was going to school, in addition to working as an elementary teacher. She felt that she could not monitor the child at all times. Apparently, family members and friends were sneaking food to the boy. DCFS reported that they had worked with mom for a year and saw no improvement. The State Health Department estimates that more than 12 percent of third graders statewide (Ohio) are severely obese. That could mean as many as 1,380 kids in Cuyahoga County alone. This story is the first time anyone could recall a child being taken from a parent strictly due to weight-related issues.
To consider the idea that the state can handle this issue by removing an obese child from the home and placing him in foster care is not only absurd, but dangerous to the development of children. Most likely, there will not be enough foster homes and even if there were, will the parents in those homes be able to handle the issues an obese child struggles with? According to recent polls, one out of every three children is morbidly obese. This is not a child crisis; instead, this is a family crisis. In this situation, the child suffered from sleep apnea, which meant he was hooked up to a machine at night that monitors and assists his breathing. Many obese children suffer asthma, diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, anxiety, and depression.
Obesity certainly has genetic components, but to simply throw your hands in the air with complete surrender to the fate is not being a responsible parent. Taking a child away from the family he knows and loves borders on cruelty. Removal of a child from his/her home should only be done as a last resort to protect that child from imminent harm (the child in this case had no other medical conditions except for sleep apnea). Many times, removing a child from their home is experienced so intensely by the child that they would resort to food even more as the only thing they could control. Depression, anxiety, and a heightened loss of self-esteem may be the result. What are we telling a child if we allow them to be taken from us, because we were not able to change our lives enough to help him? I make it clear to all of the parents I work with that if you have a morbidly obese child, it takes a family to support them with a healthy lifestyle. There can be no enablers and “good guys or bad guys” with offering the child unhealthy foods or a lifestyle conducive to obesity.
If you have a child you are concerned with who struggles with obesity, you have more power within your family than any treatment facility known. The problem is that, many times, you know your child is hurting and that breaks your heart. The guilt you feel from that affects your ability to hold a firm and loving boundary that your child needs. These suggestions will help you get started.
